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Race Recap! WDW Half Marathon 2012

Oh the irony. I spent so much time training, so much effort in making my costume, and so much money to actually get to Walt Disney World. And what did I do? I got absolutely wasted the night before the race. 



My TRON costume looked amazing:



Maybe it wasn't the best idea to partake in "Drink Around the World" just seven hours before the race. "Drink Around the World" is where you stop at every country pavilion at Epcot Center and enjoy the alcohol offering from that region. There are 11 countries, and therefore, 11 drinks. We (my friend David + I) even told ourselves to take it easy and drink only beers. Completely harmless right?


Let's just say all rules went out the door when I decided to get a double Irish whiskey on the rocks at the UK Pavilion. Man, I got blitzed. In retrospect, I'm surprised that the Disney staff didn't kick us out because, oh yes, we were those people. Drunk, loud, obnoxious, and superfluously chatty with the staff. I think we even tried to reenact scenes from Assassin's Creed by attempting to scale buildings at the Italy Pavilion. I don't remember much, but I think I had a blast.

I could've slept for a few hours but when I was too drunk and too paranoid about missing the alarm. I ended up sleeping for 20 minutes before I had to get up to prep. I did successfully wobble over to the race site but that wasn't the real problem. The real problem was all the people who wanted to talk to me and ask my about my costume. Crap. I just wasn't emotionally or mentally capable of interacting with other people at that moment. I smiled, nodded, and tried not to throw up in my mouth.


But despite the bouts of near-vomit and utter misery, I still finished. My official time was not great but it was definitely an experience to remember and to laugh about....but to never repeat ever again.


Sorry for the crickets.

It's been a while since I updated.

One would assume that I would actually have more time to blog since I got laid off right before Christmas break.



But I'm proud to say I already knocked out two half marathons and January isn't even over yet. For the WDW Half Marathon in Orlando, I wore a TRON costume, and basically ran the race drunk from a crazy night out. At the other end of the spectrum, I achieved my personal best at the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in Disneyland while donning my unintentionally slutty Tigerlily costume.

By comparing the finishing times of these two races, getting wasted the night before technically cost me 30 minutes. Thirty minutes in exchange for a night of memorable drunken revelry and an additional day of bedridden recovery? Not that bad of a deal actually.

Race recaps and Tron costume tutorial coming soon!


Lube Me Up, Lube Me Down, Lube Me All Around... Until I Slip Down the Stairs and Hurt My Tail Bone

I didn't own a full-length mirror for years so I never really had the opportunity to assess my body parts from the waist down for a while. Well, those days are now over since I finally have one in the house.

And today, like the Snow White's evil Queen, I suffered quite the mirror-inducing episode of vanity and utter panic.

After my shower this morning, I was prancing and spinning around in my underwear to Daft Punk's "Digital Love" and I checked myself out in the mirror. As my wobbly bits bounced and flounced, I noticed that my backside was covered with stretch marks.

When the fuck did this happen? Was I not aware that I had a network of nightmare trees on my back, my butt, and the back of my thights this whole time before getting this mirror?

I have to preface this with the disclaimer that I am not that vain. Stetchmarks to me usually is a good thing. I've worked hard to deflate my fat body balloon these past years*, and a couple of stretchmarks here and there remind me of my success. But this? Fuck no. This looks like Bane's veins when Bane got injected with venom from that super shitty Batman movie. You know, the one with the rubber nipples and Arnie as Mister Freeze.

So out of complete panic, I threw some clothes on and stomped my way to Walgreens in the rain. I figured they must sell some magical elixir or balm for my horrendous affliction. Good news is- yes, there are creams especially formulated to minimize stretchmarks. Awkward news is- they're all for pregnant people. How did I know? All the labels had giant pregger ladies on them. I couldn't decide which one to get. The oil? The butter? The cream? So I bought all of them. (I was still in a frenzied state.) The lady at checkout probably thought I was prepping myself for octuplets.

I came home, took a shower, washed the rain and some of the crazy out of me, and prepared to execute Operation Stretchmark Killer. I chose to use the oil for my inaugural treatment. Boy, the oil was.... fucking oily. I followed instructions and massaged the oil onto my "troubled spots" which are vast swaths across my body. I might have applied too much because the oil was slowly making its way down to my ankles.

I planned to treat myself by going downstairs to decompress and play some video games. What a good plan, Karen!

I slipped on the stairs and landed on my tail bone because I was so well lubricated.




*Everyone knows about the Freshman 15, but there's also the Post-Wedding 30.


WDW Half Marathon 2012: Costume Brainstorming

Holy pants-less sailor duck balls...

the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend is only 6 weeks away

Since people really enjoyed my Russell costume from this year's Disneyland Half, I think I may have to craft a costume for the upcoming Disney World Orlando race as well. There aren't any more chubby Asian kid characters left in Disney's library, so I guess can't really go for authenticity this time around. I've flirted with the idea of dressing up as a Disney princess...but that's really not my thing. (Though if I had to choose, it would be a toss up between Ariel and Jasmine - but both would involve baring my midriff, and my midriff looks like a giant bagel.)

I guess I can be a jackass and dress up as a Marvel character.

If I can't shoot for originality, I might as well aim for execution. I've seen a couple of runners dress up as Tron characters before, and I really dig the idea. But it's definitely tough to pull off a costume that looks like something from the movie, light up properly, and be fairly comfortable to run in. 

Yup, this will be my challenge in these next few weeks.

For the users! 


Things I Use: Best Running Apps and Websites

Hey man, I read about the hippy quasi-douchebags in Christopher McDougall's Born to Run. I've seen people running barefoot or in their monkey-toe shoes along the San Francisco Embarcadero. I get it - the new movement in running is reverting back to the old.

Minimal. Natural. Focused.


I enjoy technology and excess way too much to ever achieve that mystical zen style of running. Awesome apps, websites, and dongles have help game-ify running. And I definitely will take anything that makes going out for a jog more entertaning.

Here are all the techy things I use for my running routine:


While Running

RunKeeper | App + Website | Free | Optional extras for purchase

I was one of the early Nike+ adopters when it first came out back in 2006. Back then, it blew my mind. But now it's 2011 and with the mobile and GPS revolution, it was time for something new. But most importantly, it was time for something that was free. I've tried plenty of tracking apps available on the App store and boy, nothing is as simple and as efficient as RunKeeper. I've never had any syncing or tracking problems and their companion website is clean and easy to use. The community features are streamlined, and they offer a bunch of training programs (dubbed "Fitness Classes") available for purchase. I actually did pay for a half marathon training program (to achieve a 2:30:00 or less time), and it definitely did wonders.

Spotify | App + Client | Free | Optional paid subscription

Can't hit the pavement without my jams. Though I cannot deny the pumping power of such musical gems like Linkin Park and Papa Roach for sprints, I don't actually want to buy those songs individually. Spotify is like having the whole iTunes library free for streaming. You don't get to "own" songs, but those songs are available to you at any time. The paid subscription service lets you download a gazillion songs to your mobile device. 



Fitocracy | Site | Free | Optional paid subscription

Fitocracy is currently the best and most widely used fitness game-ification service right now. Since Nike+, I've been hoping for something more dynamic and sexier but maybe the demand isn't strong enough yet. But Fitocracy is on the right track: exercise, win points, level up, and compete against your friends. Really, it's a glorified activity tracker where you can log all of your exercises in one handy hub. I'm having high hopes for Fitocracy to add more functionalities that will blow all of our sweaty socks off.


Withings Wifi Body Scale | $159

Yeesh. Well, dropping that much money may seem a bit excessive but hey, high-tech does come at a price. Not only is the base scale more accurate than most typical scales, it also measures body fat percentage and gives out BMI readings. The crazy thing about it is that it instantly sends your measurement via wifi to a tracking dashboard program (which is beautifully designed) that you can access from your computer or phone, or tracking websites like RunKeeper if you choose to do so. It even recognizes different people and profiles automatically.



Earndit | Site | Free

Sync your GPS-tracked cardio activities and BAM! - you earn redeemable points good for some sweet discounts and coupon deals. It's almost like getting tickets from playing skeeball. I talked about Earndit a lot more here. It has been almost half a year since I registered and since then, I've enjoyed deals on customized energy bars, dried fruit snacks, and jewelry. Not too shabby.


To infinity, and beyond!


I Am Also A Dopey Dancer

In addition to getting my running on track, I started dabbling in dancing - thanks to an early copy of Dance Central 2 from the office.

Though I am definitely not ready to take my moves to the streets and battle against other crews to win the grand prize money so I can save my dream dance studio from foreclosure, I rather enjoy moving awkwardly to my favorite jams. And I usually work up a sweat. Awkward sweat.

Though the most humiliating best part of the game has to be gawking over dumb pictures of youself as you try to look cool perfecting "finishing moves."

Check out how insanely hip I look:

That black pile on the couch is actually a dog.




Pensive robot or over-acting highschool drama student?